my niggaaa

if there was any doubt in my mind as to if obama should be the next president or not -

it just died.

(:

beauty

at its finest <3

who wants to let me borrow $6,000 (:

more than i could.

have you ever loved somebody so much that you put their happiness before yours ? as much as you think it's the right thing to do, it only makes things worse. it was because i loved him that i stood, hoping things would get better. hoping that the passion we once had for eachother would come back. but you can't force something that isn't there. point, blank. it was a hard thing to do, but after looking at things differently, it was because i loved him that i had to let him go. he deserved better. and im sitting here feeling like an idiot because although i know what i did would be the better choice in the end, i have the emptiest feeling in my heart to the point where it's getting hard to breath. as hard as this might be to understand, i did this for you. its the most cliche line in the breakup book. but honestly it wasn't you, and it wasn't me. its life. people grow apart. but one thing is for sure, i'll never regret what we shared. i miss you so much, and it hurts to see that you pretty hate me for trying to do the right thing. it's so hard to just go on with life without you, and i wasn't sure at first if i made the right choice or not. all i wanted to do was go back to when we were happy. but it seems like thats long gone...

[verse 1]

I don't know what I've done

Or if I like what I've begun

But something told me to run

And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head

Little voices whispering

That I should go and this should end

Oh and I found myself listening

[chorus]

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you

All I know is that I should

And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you

All I know is that I should'

Cos she will love you more than I could

She who dares to stand where I stood

[verse 2]

See I thought love was black and white

That it was wrong or it was right

But you ain't leaving without a fight

And I think I am just as torn inside

[chorus]

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you

All I know is that I should

And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you

All I know is that I should

'Cos she will love you more than I could

She who dares to stand where I stood

[bridge]

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call

You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all

But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you

This is what I have to do

[chorus]

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you

All I know is that I should

And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you

All I know is that I should

'Cos she will love you more than I could

She who dares to stand where I stood

Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood.

calle orange

was the shittttt ! jasmine sullivan was in there. young berg let me know how he wants to give me the business with his shirt off ;) owwwww. tony sunshine told me i had him wrapped around my finger lmao. notch brought his reggae music - and yes i was gettin it lol. DJ prostyle came out and brought THE LOX ! my dudessssss. Y.O all day D-Block shunn ! haha we had fun though. i have bruises on my legs from holding myself up on the bars. we managed to get alllll the way to the front. i could barely move but i didn't care. jadakiss is now off the list of the people i wanna see perform before i die. cuz him and that heffer styles p be driving around like nothing in yonkers. ahh the ghetto dayss lol. and all for $10. heck yessss -

Sasha Fierce

Beyonce’s new double album is set to be released in U.S. stores on November 18 and with the new album comes a new name…Sasha Fierce. The album is titled just that: ‘I Am … Sasha Fierce’ and she has released a statement discussing the change:
“I have someone else that takes over when it’s time for me to work and when I’m on stage, this alter ego that I’ve created that kind of protects me and who I really am.
“Sasha Fierce is the fun, more sensual, more aggressive, more outspoken side and more glamorous side that comes out when I’m working and when I’m on the stage.”

wtf is she thinking ?!?!?! sounds like a damn porno name. is this what happens when you marry jay-z ? tsk tsk. its really ironic because i was watching the video below earlier. its one of my favorite performances ever from her. i'll always remember this one -

world of sea.

so tomorrow i'm going to sea world for an interview -_- never would i thought i would be going back to work there. but shitttt times is hard lol. the SEALS program was the best part of working there. i would get a $50 bonus if i hired someone (: plus we went to discovery cove, busch gardens, give kids the world. lots of funnnn. i just need money - real talk. im tired of having my dad pay for my stuff, then me not being able to see him "/ i miss him so much. i miss miami. i just need to go back. im so sick of it here.....

today was sucky.

get emm

"so get ya lil money, you isn't a threat
when we was making it rain, you wasn't drizzling yet"

(:

blah 5

i haven't wrote a regular blog entry in a while. well yesterday was pretty interesting. went to horror nights with juju, danny, gio, arnold, ozzy, jasmine, jennifer, alyssa, kaitlin, nick, sam :) had a crazyy time -insiders- got home lateee. therefore, today i was tired allllllllllllllll day. just laid in bed. then at 7:30 had a performance at red lobster with dynasty and newsong. that went well. then danny and juju took me home. we were gonna go out with other people but i knew my mom wouldn't let me. so tomorrow im gonna clean a lot so i can go out and see saw 5. she was telling me 'you had homecoming last week, then you went out yesterday till 1 blah blah you always wanna go out' but she needs to understand - thats high school life. i should be going out all the time. whatever. just finished watching the bet hip hop awards. wayne won best lyricist and mvp -_- where did hip hop go ?

well i'm out. go do something with your life (:

"sometimes you have to forget what you want, and remember what you deserve."

taylorrrr

because the tripleeeee lateeee was on him.

it's a chorus thing (;

cindy boo.

so i figured out that my mom has a better camera for recordingg so im gonna start making videos and use hers. this is just for my bestest cindyyy ! not the best but its a start (: sorry about my brother screaming in the backround -_-

if you have a request just let me knowww. or just ask to sing in person

you must love me.

we're singing this in newsong -

Where do we go from here?

This isn't where we intended to be

We had it all, you believed in me

I believed in you

Certainties disappear

What do we do for our dream to survive?

How do we keep all our passions alive,

As we used to do?

[Bridge:]

Deep in my heart I'm concealing

Things that I'm longing to say

Scared to confess what I'm feeling

Frightened you'll slip away

[Chorus:]

You must love me

You must love me

Why are you at my side?

How can I be any use to you now?

Give me a chance and I'll let you see how

Nothing has changed

You must love me.

and they sang this last year-

Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time

There's something wrong here

There can be no denying

One of us is changing

Or maybe we've just stopped trying

[Chorus]

And it's too late baby, now it's too late

Though we really did try to make it

Something inside has died and I can't hide

And I just can't fake it

It used to be so easy living here with you

You were light and breezy

And I knew just what to do

Now you look so unhappy

And I feel like a fool

[Chorus]

It's too late my baby

im sensing a connection -_-

meet me halfway.

"/

currently listening too

ma niggaaa Murs. thanks to kris -

good stuff <3

new layout.

that up there is a design from my friends clothing line he's working on (:

im only afraid of losing you.

I CAN'T EFFING WAIT

:D

thats the way love goes.

my jam of the moment <3

lmao

so if you ever wanted to know one weird thing about me - i'm super scared of ostriches. lmao like no lie. its funny but they really do scare me. then i found this picture. i think im gonna have nightmares.

lmao that picture is hilarious but scary as fuck. i was talking to baggz about it.

A BAGGz Thing: My nigga
A BAGGz Thing: Ugly ass creature
DEZi is DOPE x3: i knoww
A BAGGz Thing: Like seriously
A BAGGz Thing: What is it doing here
A BAGGz Thing: Like it has no purpose
A BAGGz Thing: It can't fly
A BAGGz Thing: Is mad big for no reason
DEZi is DOPE x3: lmaoo

that was a good laugh :)

excited

detroit and i WILL make a video of us singing this. wether he likes it or not (:

i cant wait to get back to the studio with a male singer. woo hoo !

i love this bitch.

so far.

my weekend has been pretty awsomee. friday was cool. we voted for homecoming and i had mad people coming up to me like heyyyyyyyy i voted for you. everywhere i went people were telling me that. i felt so loved. learned some pretty good music in chorus so im happy about that. All County auditions are next monday. ahhhhhhh @#$%^&* its to join chorus of the best singers in the county. i hope i make it. only 3 sopranos out of the like 9 thats trying out from my choir are gonna make it. i wanted to try out as an alto because only 3 or 4 are auditioning but idk... then at night went ice skating with alan, the two kevins, and rebecca and erika. it was funnn. alan got me our engagement ring -> lol. it was cute thoughh. 12 days till our one year. woo hoo ! then todayyyy went to the altamont mall. my little cousin jaylen was in a modeling competition. that girl is too much, but shes adorable. she was singing damaged but she was so nervous. she killed that runway though (: thats my girllll. then went to look for my homecoming dress and didnt find shit. then i went back to a store with my mom and they had the one i liked in my size but they didnt when i went alone -_- its yellow. mad cuteee. and fuck it im wearing the shoes i wore last year. and i have the accessories already. my sister does makeup, aunt does hair. idk how i want it though, thats always a problem. so i just gotta get my nails done. the dress was $95. eeeeeek ! i didnt think i would spend that much but i did... then came home and some family came to the house and had dinner. while they were cooking i finished reading new moon. it was amazinggggggggggg ! here's my favorite quote from the book. there's alot that i love, but this one got to me:

"Before you, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars-
points of light and reason...And then you shot across my sky like a meteor.
Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brillancy, there was beauty. When you
were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black.
Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the
stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."

can't wait to start the next one, eclipse. then tomorrow i have a meeting for this thing to study abroad in japan over the summer. lets see how that goes. well im tired, and gonna go to bed. goodnight mates !

so i put my arms around you.

and i hope that you wont hurt me <3

the economy.

is so damn horrible right now. i hate it. i got the damn brady bunch living in my house with one source of income -_- so many things to pay for. let me make a list to calm myself

• dynasty costume. about $30
• homecoming dress, shoes, etc. $100+
• powderpuff fees. $40
• Junior class shirt $15 ? idk
• chorus shirt and hoodie $30
• down payment for chorus trip $75
• ACT/SAT exam around $40 each
• GCH ticket. depending on discount - $15-$32

and i think thats it for now. I NEED A VACATION. dad told me next weekend i can go down since i have no school thursday and friday. orrrr he can give me around $150-$200 to help me out. ehh... "/ i really miss miami though. i need a jobbb. ugh. and i wanna go to halloween horror nights. andd i wanna go to miami for christmas. shit im about to hit OBT lol. anyways - VOTE FOR ME FOR HOMECOMING ! my new song. MY FIRST LOVE - Trey Songz ft Johnta Austin. I think Johnta Austin is gay. if you listen he says he can't stand to see 'whoever' with another girl. hmmmmmmmmmmm

Next Tuesday

Gym Class Heroes, The Roots, and Estellle

at House of Blues in Downtown Disney

i loveeeee GCH. here's the first song that got me into them