muhahaha

*evil laugh*

"But you gave away the things you loved, and one of them was me."

i have reason behind putting this up.

for those who swear everything is about them.

but get SHUT DOWNNN when they find out the truth.

success is the BEST revenge.

change -

is something my blog needs. it's too plain. idk.

anyways, here's a quick update on my hectic normal life.

i wake up at 6:30 almost everyday to start watching my brother. get him ready for his physical therapy at 10, which is when i actually have a chance to sit down (what i'm doing now). watch him til about 3. then find some time to spend with my friends or boyfriend. yesterday had an interview at nike, sent out my songs to a couple more people who are interested in working with me, about to link up with Brail Clothing to work on a blog, and got things together for my *hopefully* miami trip. mom doesn't like to see that i'm trying to make moves without her, but oh well. this is my last year in high school, so SHE needs to get used to not having me around. this year is gonna be so hectic. i'm getting a photoshoot together so that i can promote my music more too (: i have a lot of community service events coming up with Keyettes (school sorority type thing), plus i'm one of the top seniors in my chorus this year which means i'm in every group. which also means lots of practice. and if i get this job at nike, well who knows. it seems like this is gonna be a really tough year, but always remember : God will never give you something you can't handle. and whatever issues i have, i know that they're in Gods hands. with all the negitive energy around me, its hard to stay focused. but the more i think about it, the more i bring myself down. you are your own worse enemy, and i refuse to let that happen.

PEACE !

so.

Lilly Allen for Chanel

Aubrey Hephurn for Tiffany

see the similarites?

i'm nasty

with the writing.

found this on my myspace blog from may of 07'. its def not true for that person anymore lmao. but hey i was a freshman. i can relate to it now though -

she can't even look at you the way i do. she doesnt look at you and see a future in your eyes. she doesnt hear your voice and imagine the day you'll say "i do". she doesn`t kiss you thinking that this will be the last man who will ever touch her lips. when i see you, do you wanna know what i really think...

"i`ve loved that man with everything i have ever since i first layed eyes on him"

i think you`re underestimating the point that i`m trying to get across. you deserve better. my conscience is telling me to make something out of the obscurity that you`ve place upon my heart. yet how do i regenerate a love that seems long gone. we both know it`s there. no doubt about it. but why do you try to conceal all of your emotions. is it because your scared to trangress yourself into this game of love again. because i know for sure, you don`t feel that way about her. you never will. keep telling yourself you love her, and you wanna spend the rest of your life with her. but guess what, i have a secret. i know you more then you know yourself. so the next time you try to doubt everything that we`ve been through, think again. we taught eachother how to love. thats irreplacable.

BAM !

Kurtiz the Kid :

"Dezi I heard your song and you sound amazinggggg!! I really liked it and its
deff something that i could hear on the radio." - Kurtiz

comments like this really make my day (:

thank you kurtiz ! everyone check out his music ! my miami buddy is movin up so be on the lookout for him. add him, follow him and buy his single on itunessss !

www.myspace.com/kurtizonline
http://twitter.com/kurtizthekid
http://www.igotrecords.com/kurtizthekid.htm

tips.

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football before helping around the house.

3. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

4. A Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No 9 for the meaning of nothing.)

5. That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

6. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’, which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ - that will bring on No. 7).

7. Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying, “F— YOU!”

8. Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to No. 4.

9. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in “Fine”.

lady gaga has balls (seriously)

@ 1.14

just felt the need.

to quickly blog about this. i hate the quote "you want to be treated like an adult, you need to act like an adult." it's complete bullshit. i had a job at 15 (finally i'm 17), i paid for my own things, i've never gotten lower than a B on my report card, i do community service, i take college classes, i put aside my entire summer (taking long trips, partying, getting a job) to babysitt my brother because my parents have to work (which they don't pay me too), and when i do want to go out

i have to be home at 11:30 ? -__________________-

really ?

words of advice from uncle henry:

"Babygirl, I love your song. I've been here jamin to it and I could picture this being on the radio. It may not be perfect, but you're definitly on your way. Don't give up on whatever inspired you, because that's in your life for a reason."

*sigh*

This makes me happy though. I'm getting a lot of good feedback from the recording. Comment if you want me to send the rough draft of my first fully recorded song (:

hands down.

one of the best performances. maybe its because they used one of my favorite songs.


"you're neither friend nor foe, though i can't seem to let you go."

17 !

So yesterday was my birthday :D one more year til the big 18. I had a greattt day. Went to wekiva springs with my chorus geeks and luis. Had a bbq at my house with my family and the same friends. Then went to see my sisters keeper with luis. Don't feel like going into too many details since I'm on my phone, but it was great. I have a lot to blog about when I get home. I just feel very blessed to have amazing people in my life, and to still be alive. Now I'm off to spend that birthday cash (;

dream journal.

From last night :

To dream that you are moving away, signifies your desire or need for change (so true). It may also mean an end to a situation or relationship; you are moving on (eh, i'm trying). Alternatively, it indicates your determination and issues regarding dependence/independence.

To see a school bus in your dream, suggests that you are about to venture on a life journey needed for your own personal growth (thats true, but i was late for the bus -)

To dream that you are late, denotes your fear of change and your ambivalence about seizing an opportunity (just shows how i contradict myself. i want change but i'm scared of it). You may feel unready, unworthy, or unsupported in your current circumstances. Additionally, you may be overwhelmed or conflicted with decisions about your future (oh yes). You feel time is running out and that you do not have time to accomplish all the things you want.

To dream of your hometown (Yonkers, NY), indicates that you may be experiencing some unexpressed feelings. You may feel that you are not able to fully express your emotions. This could be triggered by a waking situation. The dream could also reflect aspects of yourself that were prominent or developed when you were living in your hometown. Did you abandon certain values or ideals when you moved to the big city? Did you forget some aspect of yourself and who you really are?

To dream that you are in a maze, denotes that you need to deal with the task on hand on a more direct level. You are making the situation harder than it really is. Alternatively, the maze symbolizes life's twists and turns. It represents confusion, missteps, feeling lost or being misled.

To see a tiger in your dream, represents power and your ability to exert it in various situations. The dream may also indicate that you to take more of a leadership role. Alternatively, the tiger represents female sexuality, aggression, and seduction.

I'm in love with another man.

self explanitory -



i love this song. it's one of her best in my opinion.

i'm in love !

i found more ! ! ! !









where are you anoop? i'd love to have you're hindu babies (;

<3

"i need you still, i always will. cuz you're the only one for me."



you don't knowwwwwwwwwwwwww.
if he sang like that to me, it would be over.



i love music too much.

and another one !

PALABRA !

watching diary of a mad black woman.

and the chick is telling her mom "he hurt me so bad momma. he was my everything."

mom says "GOD IS YOUR EVERYTHING! he's a jealous God, put no man before him."

WORD.

throwback.

we love you babygirl.

LMFAO.

okay, i've known about this for a while, but this video really made me laugh.

loon what are you doinnn? first mase, now this.

he wasnt real anyways. when they put him on the spot to rap, he didn't know what to say.

SMH !

scream at me !

stronger than me.

*claps for amy winehouse*

okay this song is old, but i fell the need to adress the situation she is talking about. i've noticed that recently, men have become way more emotional than women. i am noticing it wayyy too much. men are that clingy, needy, or don't take intuitive. i don't know about other women, but i like my man to take charge every now and then. that's just because my personality is very straight forward, and i like things to go my way. so when something different comes along, it interests me. "all i need is for my man to live up to his role." guys, if you think begging a woman to stay, blowing up her phone, telling her you can't live without her is gonna get her back, you're wrong. well at least with me it is. don't get me wrong, men need to show their emotions as well, but shit - when did it get like this. yes women like to be chased, but it happens so often that we like to be the ones doing the chasing. keep us interested, it'll benefit you in the long run.

nobody -

is fuckin with d-block.

my nigs make me proud (:

so i go back to florida tonight. i was kinda happy, but now i'm type sad. but whatever it has to happen. it didn't even feel like a vacation. it just felt like i never left yonkers. i can't imagine how different my life would be if i never left though. even though i hate it sometimes, i appreciate florida a lot more. damn i didn't even take pictures when i was here lol. i guess it's because everything is normal to me here. but just like every other time, i had an amazing time. i learned a lot from this trip, but im excited to see what the future holds for me once i go back home* so until we meet again, my heart will always and forever remain in new york.

this is on repeat.

it aint hard to realize
that we're love in disguise
and i've fallen, for you.
it aint hard to look and see
that baby, you've fallen deep
for me.
and i adore the way we are
you're my sun and i'm your star.

this is for luis.

just because i know you like reading my shit (:

<3

Throwback.

since I'm in Yonkers, I had to rep my hometown.

25 to life.

whattt? jojo?

i didn't expect this from her. i guess she had to grow up eventually. i kinda like the chorus when the synth comes in. i guess it'll grow on me. she has a really good voice, im excited to see what else she has coming out.