i feel like

writing. so im gonna write about some people, besides the obvious mom and dad, that got me through this year, or made a difference in my life. in no particular order.

jasmine

pshh where would i have been this year without you. having you live with me, deff makes everything better. yeah we have had our times where we hate eachothers guts, but in the end you are the best. i've learned so much from you, met so many people. my life wouldn't be the same without. if you do decide to move away, i'll be sad :( but you gotta do what you gotta do. i love you sisssssssssssss

cindy

you're still my ride or dieeee. girlll everytime i'm with you, there is never a dull moment. you're my best friend, cousin, sister, bitch, hoe, everythingg. you're one of the realist people i know. i cant think of a time that you weren't there for me when i needed you to be. in all seriousness, i love you cindy. i could go on forever about how much you mean to me. im lucky, no im blessed to have a friend like you in my life. you're thee bestt.

juju

my brother. we get on eachothers nerve, but it's all love. we're alwaysss there for eachother, regardless of what happens. and your willing to help me with things, even if it doesn't benefit you. and i thank you sooo much for that. im sad that this is our last year in school together, but i know i'll be seeing you after. i love you jujuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

alan

didn't think you'd be on here ? lol think againnn. you have taught me sooo much this past year. i can't even begin to sum it up. most importantly, you taught me how to love. and thats something that i'll never forget. through all the ups and downs, you'll always have a place in my heart. im happy that we can talk now, and put our issues aside. all i want is the best for you, and i hope you find it.

gretchen

my liddo midget (: girlll the stories that you cindy and i have are unforgettableeeee. im so happy i found my long lost cousin lol. even though we go without talking to eachother for a little while, i can always hit you up if im having any issue, and you'll be there to listen. and then to tell me to suck it up and do what makes me happy. for a little person, you're one of the strongest people i know. and i love you for that. hope you have fun tonighttttttt ;)

kris

where do i begin. you know me in ways i don't even know myself. and you've taught me that if you really want something, you can always make it work. no matter how impossible it may seem. "i guess that's what love is, making the impossible possible." you've even showed me that i can write my ass off lol. but it would be nothing if i didn't have someone to write about. distance has been an issue, and it makes shit really tough, but we're still here. and you know that i will always be here. nobody said it was gonna be easy, we just didn't realize how hard it would be. thank you for everything.

tasha

one of the few people that know the wholeee story. and you know what i'm talking about lol. it all started at a sneaker event... never would i have thought that i would end up meeting a great friend. you're always ready to read anything i have thats new, and to tell me what you think of situations. even if its figuring out what to do with our hair lol. thank you for always being there babygirl*

robbie

if it weren't for you, i don't think i'd even have a blog lol. you are honestly one of the most amazing people i have ever come across in my life. everything that you hold in your mind is just incredible. your love for real music is something i respect so much, as well as your writing skills. you're the only person that i could send an essay too, and you'll tell me everything that i probably already knew, but it would mean so much more coming from you lol. from july to now, you've helped me get through ALOT. every little frustration and the big meltdowns. you've showed me to look at things in a different perspective, which i love. i can't thank you enough for everything. honestly.

frank

we haven't known eachother for that long, but you're already beginning to mean a lot to me. you give me hope, which isn't an easy thing to do. when i was ready to give up on everythinggg, going through tough times at home, and just sick of living in kissimmee, you were there. the day of the funeral, you were there within 15 minutes with your dog to take my mind off of the situation. it was then that i realized that i had something special. i love how you challenge me, even though we both know your not hard... lol it's all love baby. normally i would be scared in a situation like this, just got out of a long relationship not too long ago, plus i have been hurt plenty times in the past. but like i told you before, something tells me you won't do that. i can't wait to see what the future holds for us baby. alright im gonna stop gassing your head up now so i'll say one more thing; thank you for being my happiness.

new years resolutions.

1. Get high scores on my SAT
2. Get my license in March
3. Work out 3-4 times a week
4. LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST
5. No more baggage, start fresh.
6. Get a job
7. Get my OG 11s :(
8. Appreciate what I have, instead of dwelling on what I don't
9. Stop trying to make everyone else happy, instead of myself
10. Play my piano for 15 minutes 3 days out of the school week
11. Better my Spanish. smh
12. Stop procrasinating
13. Go back to New York asap :(
14. RECORD MUSIC. get some songs out !
15. Focus on what I want
16. Think positively
17. Have more patience. especially at home
18. Take Kobe out more. poor doggy.
19. Call my grandma's more often.
20. BE HAPPYYYYYYYYYYY

back in miami.

this has been the most amazing christmas break.
another song off the soundtrack that i love.

bold is the girl - regular is the guy - italics is the part i love*

Are you ready to try again?

I think I'm ready

Okay, here we go. Esquina

Corner

Tienda

Store

Bombilla

Lightbulb

You're sure?

I'm sure

3 out of 3, you did alright

Teach me a little more

Calor

Heat

Anoche

Last night

Dolor

Pain

That's right. Llamame

Call me

Azul

Blue

Amame

Love me

Perhps I do-

and although it has been the best. a part of me is missing. him <3

in the heights.

was the most amazing broadway show ever. i might pursue musical theater because of this show.
the opening.


some clips.

woo hooo

quick recap. im in new york now. my phone broke, but getting my new one tomorrow :) christmas was great. shopping was awsome in soho. i missed this.. i saw my bestie from first grade- atiyaaa! i saw titi, which was cutee because its been sooooo long. also saw uncle paulie, anne and ms.taylor. i felt bad, she's not doing so well "/ im excited to see frank tomorrow. words cant explain how i missed him. but don't get gassed up babyyyy.

you are my roc

[Bridge]

If there´s options

I don't want them

they're not worth my time

cause if it's not you

Oh, no thank you ,

I like us just fine

you're a roc in the sand

you're the smile in a crowd

you´re my joy through the pain

you're the truth through the lies

no matter what I do

I know that I can count on you.

just finished watching.

what dreams may come.

beautiful piano composition <3

dreams.

"To see a lion in your dream, symbolizes great strength, aggression and power. You will overcome your emotions and/or difficulties. As king of the jungle, the lion also represents royalty, leadership, pride and domination. You have much influence over others. You need to exercise some restraint in your own personal and social life"

so i dreamt that i was a lioness lol. and that i was laying by this river or something just chillin and getting some sun. and i was friends with this bird- don't ask ? then it seemed like i was prego and was gonna have a baby, so thats why the bird would be with me, so incase anything happened, he would go tell the lion, the significant other. so a little while later, the lion came and we were in the water swimming. then the bird came and said that something like if there was someone trying to attack me. and immediately he got up, and defended me. then later he came back and everything was fixed. which is kinda ironic. because there's someone in my life, who whenever there's an issue, he seem's to just fix them, or make them seem like they've gone away. plus the fact that we are both strong people, and he's unlike most of the guys i've ever met. i don't know how to interpret it, but it feels like a sign ... a good one.

YAYYYY

I'M IN MIAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.

OH, AND JAMES FRANCO IS STILL MINE*

waste of life.

soo right now im in my english 3 online class again. i haven't done much today since its the day before winter break. so i figured i'd fill you in on whats been going on in my life. well so far today, I gave alexx her gift and she got my a shirt from aeropostale. then i gave one of my secret santas their gift, and my person (raul aka jesussss) got me these portable ipod speakers and a santa thing that reads the right before christmas. i really wanna go to chorus since their having the party, but i dont wanna be rude and leave lol. i reallyyyyyyyy want this day to end already. frank* is taking me out to dinner later on tonight, and then he has a surprize for me. he said he's gonna tell my mom so she knows where we're going, but he's not gonna tell me. ahh the anticipation is killing me. whatever it is, i know i'll enjoy it. because we could just be sitting somewhere random, and im having like the time of my life lol. then tomorrow my dad is picking me up to go to miamiiiii. then finally tuesday i leave to new york. I dont know if i should get my hair done now or do it before i leave. i gotta see.... plus today i gotta go home, do laundry, start packing and get ready for my date (: ahh this is gonna be horrible. im the worst person to do packing because i just wanna take everything. i gotta bring a week of warm clothes for new york, and a week of clothes for miami. dun dun dun dunnnnnn

i just got a text from kedwin, it's snowing in new yorkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk !

that better not stop me from going there. i know a snow storm is coming, but i hope its not too bad. i cant believe its been like 4 years since i've seen snow. anyways- i'm like starving right now. im craving the lasanga that my 3rd period chorus teacher is bringing it. its gonna be mad funn. so much food and stuff (: im so antsy right now -_- i just wanna be in h&m already lol. I really wanna spend time with frank while im in new york. it'll be mad cutee. can you tell that im bored? im STARVINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. its 10:28. and i go to my next class at 11:07 -_- shoot mee noww.

im starting to realize that everyone in this school annoys me. except for some. like im so sick of it here. and it sucks because i reallyyyy wanna live in miami, and sometimes i feel like my mom doesn't want me here so why not. but like my senior year is coming up. i can't just leave. that'll screw everythingggg up.

ugh.. i think im gonna go on fsf for a while. try to do something productive before i eat this computer. peaceee !

love is a losing game

the drugs fucked her all uppp.

whomp whomp

im in journalism. bored. cold.
blahhhhhhhhhh
i don't wanna be here, but i don't wanna go home. it's a lose lose situation for me.
and my stomach hurts.

ahhhhh
i just wanna go to new york already. i need to go shopping for things to wear over there. but then i need money to buy crap while im there. i have practice after this for carol of the bells. tomorrow is a show that were hosting, then sunday theres another performance at some hotel. then tuesdayyyy is our big concert. thennnnnn thursday is our madrigal lunch in. then finally fucking fridayy is an assembly in the pac that were performing in. and after that..........

im out this placeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

tell me what you want from me

;)

and with all the darkness that has been surrounding my life lately,

he's becoming the light that i needed to make it all go away.

you know who you are <3

shoot me now.

im watching a video on conjunction function in my english 3 online class -_-
yesterday was weird.
school was geyyyyyyy
but then went to dinner with frank which made it A LOT better.
then came home to another argument with mom. were taking into consideration that i move to miami with my dad. ughhhhhhhh some things just can't be fixed i guess.

anyways - good news. im going to miami the 20th. then im gonna be in new york from the 23-30. staying in yonkersss which should be crazy. gonna go back all see all my old homies on the block (: lol. then back in miami till the 4th.

so let me knowwwwwwwwwww (;


oh G.O. - here's your shoutout. happy ?

love always-

"to laugh often and much. to win the respect of intelligent people, and the affection of children. to earn the appreciation of honest critics, and endure the betrayal of false friends. to appreciate beauty. to find the best in othersto leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition. to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.this is to have succeeded."

rip momma helen

sunrise: december 16, 1958

sunset: december 2, 2008

today was the memorial service. it was really tough to go through. one because she was like a second mother to me in the past 5 years i've known her. and two because i had to see someone who i love and care so much for, storm, go through this. it just breaks my heart. i was the first of storms friends that offered to go up and say something, but words couldn't express how i feel. helene touched my life in ways she probably didn't even think about. i remember spending my summers at her house, without any worries at all. her spirit is amazing. and i say is because it'll never end. a couple of days ago, my phone shut off and it brought back all my contacts that i had when i first had my phone. and i was looking through them, and saw her "momma helene" like if it was her way of telling me to never forget about her. and to never give up on storm. helene, thank you for everything you did for me. especially by bringing such a great person, friend, sister into my life. i know things haven't always been that great between me and storm, but that's changed. it tears me up inside to know that you would ask about me when i wasn't around, and that i didn't take the time out to go see you and fix things sooner. you were just such a strong person, that i didn't think the cancer would get to you. it's like you were superwoman. but you're in a better place now, watching over all of us. see you soon mum. love always , baby D.

dont worry, i'll take care of her <3

if you believe you'll do best without me...

marry me.

blah 7

this week has been crazy. for the past two days i've been working as an extra on a movie set for an upcoming film Scare Zone. yes it will be in theaters :D and no you don't just see my head or something lol. they liked me. i'll post pictures later.

it's been one week since i saw him "/ i think i'm handling it quite well. better then last time.

<3

rip momma helen

it's really terrible that you had to go. at a point in my life i felt like you were a second mother to me because storm and i were practically like sisters. i could just run to your house whenever i wanted to get away, and you always welcomed me with open arms.

you will be very missed. <3