i'm pretty sure

i've posted this before. but every word is so true.




If you love me as much as you said you did

Then you wouldn't have hurt me like i ain't shit.

Now you push me away like you never even knew me

I love you with my heart - really and truly.

Fool of Me.

I remember when you filled my heart with joy
Was I blind to the truth just there to fill the space
'Cause now you have no interest in anything I have to say
And I have allowed you to make me feel dumb
What kind of fool am I that you so easily set me aside

You made a fool of me
Tell me why
You say that you don't care but we made love
Tell me why
You made a fool of me you made a fool of me

I want to kiss you
Does she want you with the pain that I do
I smell you in my dreams
But now when we're face to face you won't look me in the eye
No time no friendship no love
Don't say don't touch you I can't touch you no more
Can't touch you any more any more
I don't touch you anymore

You made a fool of me
Tell me why
You say that you don't care but we made love
Tell me why
You made a fool of me you made a fool of me

Empty -

perfect word to explain how i feel.


"my heart can't take no more lies, and my eyes are all out of cries."

i didn't even cry today, i can't anymore. at times like this, i wish i had no fucking emotions so i can't feel this pain thats hitting my heart right now. everything that i ever believed in is DONE. the years i've spent trying to build this relationship is all wasted. look at the older posts from last year - those are all LIES. the people who said they would be there arent. now this isn't only an emo blog because of a boy -_- not even it. even friends have faded away. i'm dying for some form of love to reach out to me, yet look at how many times love has fucked me over. i'm so good at hiding it, but my heart is in a state of depression. it feels like a huge empty void that only he can fill, yet he's the one who created it in the first place. and i don't even know if i want him to fill it. he's done enough damage to me. i'm reaching out to an invisible hand, crying on a shoulder that doesn't exist, and it hurts. i hate you for doing this to me. goodbye...

i dont know.

i feel so alone inside. it doesn't really have to do with the post before this, but just in general.

this weekend - was crazy. and things happened that i didn't plan, but they happened.

i'm not going into detail. idk who still reads this. but i feel like my actions were an effect of everythings thats been going on. i feel like i don't have anyone, because i dont. my 'best friends' and i drifted apart - some wouldn't even understand whats going on or they'd be too judgemental. or the ones that do understand are far away. i just want someone to sit in a car with me, or by a lake whatever and just listen. its weird, i have everythingggg going for me. going to college, have a great music and communications career ahead of me, i just won homecoming princess - proof that people like me. yet i have no one. emotions are all over the place, and the people who care about me the most would either be dissappointed or hurt. one is already hurt and keeps saying all this shit, like if it's helping me. if i could go back in time, i'd definitly change what happened but i can't.

i just want someone to listen and say it's okay. don't say you're always gonna be there for me because chances are, you won't. atleast thats what happened to everyone else.

"i wanted it to be you."

today

Would've, could've, and should'vbe been
our two year anniversary.




I hope she makes you happy.
From this point on - I'm over it (:






And damn does it feel good! (:

pretty wings.

"i should've showed you better nights, better times, better days. i miss you more and more -"

u r the one.

fuck youuuuuuuuu.


I wish we never met, I wish we never kissed
I wish we never touched (I swear to God)
I wish I didn't love you so much
I wish I could forget how feel, how you f---
(Damn) That's a lie
The shit that made me smile, now make me cry.

i miss you blog <3

i've been sick, of course. anywho - i love this quote.

"When someone completely breaks your heart, no matter what, it’s gonna eat you inside. When that person walks by, you still get that little rush in your veins because the pain is still there. Nothing is going to take it away. All you can do is hold your head high and keep loving the other things that make you happy in life. And I promise you, the “little rush” gets smaller and smaller up to the day that you can walk by them with a smile … and a “fuck you” on your face."

and this song

i might go back to being emo me (:

took the words

right out of my mouth. especially the 2nd verse.



:( this is killing me.

its october.

the 17th would've been 2 years.
and the end of this month makes it 1 year since we haven't been together.

and still.

ADD MY MUSIC PAGE !

myspace.com/desireetmusic

(: