i wanna be, wherever you are

my new favorite song, thanks to kris <3

please don't leave my side.

i used to love this song -

back to being depressed :'(

think of me.

if a guy played this for me, i'd love him forever, lol. phantom of the opera on broadway is AMAZING by the way. definitly something i will never forget. i was gonna post the video of christine singing this, but i really loved this. when new year comes up, one of my resolutions is to get this good. so watch out (:

notorious.

i will be in there like swimwear.

blah 4

yeah im listening to that right now. and some other stuff gretchen is sending to me. this weekend was alright. football game on friday with the peeps. saturday just filled out scholarship stuff. and today cleaned. pretty sucky weekend. wanted to go to destinys yesterday but guess not. GRETCHEN is getting me depressed that hoe. lol. she stays sending me sad songs. my life is so fucking complicated, its funny. i need my own reality show. eh not much to say. i wanna go to miamiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii and new york. both equally badly. im gonna make a video of me singing tomorrow on my sisters cam. because i tried on mine and the sound quality sucks. any requestssss (: just let me know.

you don't own me.

You don't own me, I'm not just one of your many toys

You don't own me, don't say I can't go with other boys

And don't tell me what to do

And don't tell me what to say

And when I go out with you

Don't put me on display

You don't own me, don't try to change me in any way

You don't own me, don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay

I don't tell you what to say

I don't tell you what to do

So just let me be myself

That's all I ask of you

I'm young and I love to be young

I'm free and I love to be free

To live my life the way I want

To say and do whatever I please

were singing this in chorus. i love it (:

school

is controlling my life. all i do is work for it and im tired. i need a change.. some excitement.
i'll blog more when i have time. as for im still listening to the song below. i need a new layout for this. and a new song -_-

my all.

i love this song <3

throwbackss

so while i was putting away the new clothes i bought, i put in my rock cd that i made a while ago. good memoriesss.
this first one reminds me of my colombian loser buddy ivan lol. crazy how much has changed.

all i wanted was your love.

i used to love this song so much. the video is so random, i love it.

THIS WAS MY SHIT (: this was like my favorite song.

and after all that we've been through, i know were cool "/ it's weird finding songs that go perfectlyyyyy with a situation.

everyone was on this songs shit. but i loved it firstttt (:

okay thats all for now. the list is never ending plus im sure no one cares (:

crazy.

i like the regular version of this song better. they use too much auto-tune in the video. anyways, i'm reading new moon by stephenie meyer. got me all depressed. i miss miami :(

i'll blog about my weekend later.

throwback

singing witness. yeah the sound quality sucks, but hey it was fun. i love singing old chorus songs. makes you feel cool lol. overall today was pretty good. my hands still hurt though, im gonna have to check that out. im reallyyyyyyyyyyyy tireddd. THANK GOD TOMORROWS FRIDAY. hopefully going to the game (: oh, and don't you just love my random photography.?

11 months.

in this crazy world of mine, so many things are questionable as to whether or not things are true. yet throughout all of it, i know that one thing is for sure. and that is, that guy up there - loves me no matter what. i know for sure that in the 11 months that we have been together, i have neverrr questioned if his love for me was true. he's never done anything to hurt me in any way, and he's changed so much - for us. sometimes i feel like he deserves so much more from me, because i dont know why out of all people, god chose me to be blessed by him. i swear he deserves some type of an award. i mean come on, he's put up with me for this long and still loves me? lol i dont know how he does it. he wrote me this little letter at 12 in the morning, and i felt like the only cheeseball because i was crying when i read it. like that neverrr happens. it just feels so good knowing how long its been. like at 3 months it felt like we were together for a year, and now that a year is just a month away, it feels like its passed by so quickly. there is nothing left for me to say but - alan cruz, i love you.

Vintage Stereon.

my best miami friend* is starting up his own clothing line called Vintage Stereon. above is one of the designs he sent me. im so proud of him, real talk. right now i feel like i have artiritis (and yes it is common in teenage girls) and im still on here talking about it. i am such a great frienddd. so be on the lookout for that because it's gonna be hot shit and im gonna be a model for it (: plus he WILL make a design with a girl that looks like me. he will.....

okay so...

okay so i decided that i am moving to Australia with my pet kangaroo. and nooo its not because gretchen wants to move to Antarctica with her pet penguin lol. Australia never has no damn problems. when have you ever heard "AUSTRALIA AT WAR WITH...." exactly, never. people are mad happy and tan. I'm gonna go buy a boat and live by the Sydney Opera House and go to all their shows (: the good lifeee

work that corner.

SATURDAY:

woke up at 8 in the morning to be at pizza hut at 9 for the chorus carwash. it was pretty fun though. started the morning standing on the corner in my bikini top and shorts with some girls screaming CAR WASHHHH. we got alot of customers though (: i made sure i got people to turn their cars around and get a wash. it was $5 per car -_- but some people made donations of more. shit they better. i got on top of the damn pick up truck to clean it. there were like 20 kids there. and we made about $600. my toes got bit by ants though from standing on the corner "/ lmao. it ended around 3:15 then after that went to jujus house for a while until my mom came and got me. i was SOOOOO fckn tired. oh my lord. then alan wanted to go to the loop to see a movie. so me being the nice girlfriend that i am gets up from bed and gets ready -being cranky and all. i got there at 7:30 like we planned and he didnt get there till like 45 mins later. so i was stuck at claires until glori and sulay saved mee. then i went to apply at johnny rockets (desperate times call for desperate measures lol) but its cool in there. we sat down and got milkshakes but mine was retarded :( the waiter bryan was cool and i was telling him to make sure i got hired. then alan got there. and i told bryan for them to put the music and dance like they randomly do lol. so they do it and the manager comes like "if you wanna work here you gotta dance!" hence the video below. it was fun though. i told him he better hire me now (: then alan and i went to redbrick pizza, then to see the movie traitor. it was really good but the ending was pointless. i was interested in it though because it had to do alot about the islam religion, which i had like a learning fetish with last year. idk why its just really interesting to me. got home and knocked the fuck outtttttt. woke up today like at 2 "/

baby got back.

FRIDAY:

and this is how hispanics celebrate a two year olds birthday party. thats my 55 yr old step-grandma in the center btw (: it started as a tough day but this made it alot better. i love my crazy ass disfunctional family. and i can't believe my baby is growing up. that kid is my life. one of the main reasons why im staying in kissimmee instead of being in miami right now. its crazy how the thing i want the most is so easy to get. like i can move if i wanted to without a problem. but its not that simple.

Maria Mena.

my two new favorite songs. her words explain so much. i relate to them "/

Sorry

I miss you love.

9/11

i can't believe its been 7 years. i remember like if it just happened yesterday. today we talked about it in school. then we had a lockdown. just as the bell rang to go to 2nd period, the lady comes on the announcements like "EVERYONE REPORT TO YOUR FIRST PERIOD DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CLASSROOMS WE ARE IN A LOCKDOWN" like with her voice mad nervious. my stomach was turning "/ then we all get in class and have to turn off the lights and cover the windows. then tell me how this niggaaaa. my damn teacher is like okay guys take out your notes. im like WTF there can be a shooter on the damn campus and you want us to take our damn notes out. next thing you know you hear helicoptors. thats when i text alan "/ after like 10 mins they send us back to class like nothing happened. theres rumors that a car blew up, that people saw people in handcuffs. who knowss. anyways then in 2nd period we were all shook up so we just had a discussion about 9/11 and the upcoming election the whole period. heres a poem i did for that class a couple of days ago.

I remember it as if it just happened yesterday
A regular day in New York, everything was always the same.
One kid got called out of class, and then I was the next
Lord knows this was the last thing I would expect.
I walked down to a lobby of frantic moms and dads
There were no TVs to let me know what was going on that was so bad.
My grandma picked me up, with her eyes full of pain
All I could do was think the worst, so I started to pray.
We took a cab to pick up my older sister, and I could tell by the atmosphere that something was wrong
When she got in the car, all she told me to do was to hold on.
“Be prepared for what you’re about to see
I bet you never knew just how cruel this world could be.”
When I got to my building everyone was going crazy and crying
My grandma tried to explain to me why there were so many people dying.
A plane hit the World Trade Center, a place where my mom was working just two weeks ago
But since she didn’t tell me she switched offices, my world suddenly went cold.
Watching the buildings collapse, it was just too devastating
Nothing to do but sit at home, I couldn’t stand the waiting.
I remember sitting there thinking “how could I be so dumb and blind?”
“Couldn’t this be prevented, weren’t there any signs?”
Finally my mom got home, and my worries died down a bit
All I wanted to do was hold her close to me and just sit.
She sat in front of the TV saying “what’s the point of us having all these rights
Is this what our country has turned into, us fighting for life?”
The rest of the day was just spent in sadness and sorrow
This was one situation that I knew wouldn’t be fixed by tomorrow.
There are no words to explain the emptiness felt due to this tragedy
All the lives lost and how it happened so sadly.
Its crazy how in one day it went from two beautiful buildings standing so tall
To a nation who now says “united we stand, divided we fall.”

even today when we were talking about it i still get emotional. the dicussion turned into a debate when we got into the upcomming election. i was for obama of course. i just had alot to say. it was different for me though talking about 9/11 because i was in new york. and it played a big reason as to the reason why i moved to florida. anyways in the video john is for mccain and saying that obama wasn't brought up to be a leader like mccain is because of his family backround. after i said what i had to say (: everyone said that instead of being president of the class i need to be president of the country. haha. desiree for president ! get at meeee. (plus carswell back at school. he wasn't even in the hospital. but he did have stomach pain)

chorus.

okay so normally i would be tired by now. but my almost 4 hour nap took that away lol. today was pretty pointless. only did work in history -_- and online english. my chorus teacher Mr.Carswell still isn't here. word is , is that he's in the hospital again due to stomach pain. someone said maybe ulcers. we prayed for him today in class :( i really hope he's okay. i dont want him to miss any more school. this happened last year and it was hard for us to get back on track. then my journalism teacher wasn't here because of a death in her family "/ when i came home i slept. then did my homework. SO TELL ME HOW i was gonna slap a bitch in english lol. well she's not in my class but bitch was being mad rude and loud. telling me that i cant tell her to be quit while I'M taking my damn test. oh god.. anyways, i can't believe tomorrow is 9/11 already. then my brother turns 2 on friday. how time has passed by man.. anywho - below is a video of what we do when he's gone. we were sad in the beginning but you can't expect chorus kids to be in a room with a piano, and not do anything. i was late with my camera , but i caught the end of us singing beautiful girl by sean kingston. i love these kids *

you better shape up (;

so i was in a badddd mood today. then i saw grease and everything became okay (: i love the way john travolta shakes his booty in the beginning. hahaa

mad tired though "/ im gonna do some extra work so i can take it easy tomorrow. by the way; alan cruz i love you so much its retarded. haha (: i know drove you crazy with this song when we first started going out. and i still drive you crazy every day. but i was just thinking how when we were like together for 3 months it felt like years. but now that were gonna make 11 months, it feels like it was just yesterday that you stole my heart. and its been yours ever since (: peace niggas !

-desiree <3

So So Def

i remember watching this girl when i had my wisdom teeth taken out lol. and i always loved her youtube videos. now JD signed her "/ i need to start making videos but my sony has bad sound quality. so if you see me in the street just ask me to sing. i wont mind (: this is the first video i ever saw of hers. look her up on youtube by searching phatfffat. my love is the shhhhhhhhh

OBAMA !

okay so today I was assigned an essay about which presidental candidate i would vote for, and why. and i felt guilty for not really being fully aware of what each side has to say. but i didnt want to be like the rest of alot of the 'colored population' and just be like yeah obama he's black vote for him! no thats now how it goes down. so i've been on youtube for a while looking at speeches and what not, but obama is the mann. this country NEEDS a change. not someone who's gonna step into office and run american just the way its been run for the past 8 years. and for those who know me (: you know that i'm veryyyy involved when it comes to the genocide in darfur. so i decided to see obama's views on this situation.

come on, this dude is amazing. bush declared whats going on an official genocide what 4 years ago ? and it's still going on. it took him long enough to just send some choppers over there which didnt do anything at all. bush is just in it so that activists dont go crazy on his ass. i highly doubt he's doing it for his own moral purposes. but you know if economically helping them would help us in return, he'd be all over it. obama actually cares. this will be an easy essay (:

highly upset.

this weekend SUCKED ! friday i didnt go out to the game because i was sick. so i stood home doing nothing. same with yesterday. and todayyyyyyyy. i've been watching disney movies. im not as sick anymore but now its cramps and shit. grrrrrrrrr. then my laptop battery decides to fuck up and be retarded so now i gotta call dell and see whats up with it. peice of shit grrr. i dont wanna go to school tomorrow. anyways about my dream :

i know this isn't the first time i've had it. it probably started when i watched pocahontas the other week lol. but yeah im like an indian hiding in the woods lol. weird i know. and i have my sony cybershot with me and im taking pictures of the scenery. like of the sun coming up through the trees or across a river. and people keep on trying to hunt me down and all i do is run through the woods and stuff. or like i jump in lakes and stuff and just swim but people still come after me. then it got to the point that i ran into town or something and i was jumping on top of rooftopsof like appartments and the car was chasing me earlier is like hopping roofs too almost like flying. and i was dressed like pocahontas too. idk it was really weird lol. i had alot of other dreams while i was sleeping too but i dont remember them having any significance. so according to dreammoods.com aka the best place everrr :

*To dream that you are running away from someone, indicates an issue that you are trying to avoid. You are not taking or accepting responsibility for your actions. In particular, if you are running from an attacker or any danger, then it suggests that you are not facing and confronting your fears.

*To dream that you are running alone, signifies that you will advance to a higher position and surpass your friends in the race for wealth. Alternatively, you may be running from some situation or from temptation.

*To see the woods in your dream, represents life, fertility, rejuvenation, and spring. Alternatively, it symbolizes the unknown and unconscious. You need to be more open-minded to discovering your potential and instinctual nature.

*To dream that you are taking a picture, suggests that you need to get a good understanding and gain more information on some issue. You need to focus more attention to some situation or relationship. Perhaps you feel that you need to recapture some past moments in a relationship.

*To dream that you are being chased, signifies that you are avoiding a situation that you do not think is conquerable. It is often a metaphor for some form of insecurity. Alternatively, you may be running away from a primal urge or fear.

weird huh ?

FSF FLORIDA <3

okay so i know that im kinda late on this, but heres the article that's in Rive Fashion Magazine for the August 2008 issue. i'm the first one on the top row holding the xi's aka my favorite sneaker (: big ups to my FSF lovers* who were there for the interview with me and definitely Hi-Top Studio

www.myspace.com/hightopstudio

you can click on the picture to make it bigger OR go to

http://www.rivemagazine.com/issue002/

to see the whole thing. go to page 29 (click 30 and just jump a page behind for the slow ones) don't mind me in the interview video because i look and sound retarded, but i will say i look pretty cute in the little picture (: but if you have the time take a look at the rest of it, its pretty cool. plus theres some more in there about high-top. if you will do me a favor and SUBSCRIBE to their magazine its completely free plus i get something out of it if you do (: so click hereee

thank youuu !

-desiree <3

Def Jam Appreciation Post (:

if you know me, you should know that i loveeeeeeeeee this show. so since i was sick youtube became my new bestfriend and i started going crazy again looking for new videos since i've seen most of them. so heres some that i just saw today that i really love. or ones that i've seen before that i love.

I'd prefer a broken neck than a broken heart. i lovee this one so much.


my nigga DMXXXXX talking about the industry. fuck what you think about ruff ridaz of whatever. you know he's hot shit.


knock knock. this man speaks with so much power it made me wanna cry. like the emotion he had throughout the whole poem, you can tell how much it meant to him.


now for some humor (: dave chappelle is that dude. FUCK ashton kutcher ! haha i love this one.


I AM A SEXY ASS MOTHERFUCKER. haha big mikeeee. but what he says is true. knowledge is true beauty.


barbie and ken 101. i love at the end where he says something like whats real is women that dont give a fuck. oh yeah - thats me. like people think i wanna look good to impress people - fuck that. i look good for myselfff and if you have a issue with that well then it sucks to be you.

thats all for now. i'll be posting up more as time goes by.

should i give up?

or should i just keep chasing pavement.
even if it leads nowhere ?

i LOVE her effing voice. and i love singing this song. today sucked balls. im still sick "/ went home early to sleep but just finished maddd homework. im in my 'fuck everyone' mood. so yeah..

90210

was pretty awsomee (: im mad how this bitch from degrassi is in it. shes living my dreams for me "/ the first dude in that picture, ethan - can get ittttt. i love how baggz and i were watching it and dicussing on aim the "Pipe and Bagg List". it was pretty interestingggg lmfao. and mad random how this chick from full house is on it. i wanna go to cali "/ so Monday night is the hills. Tuesday is 90210. Wednesday is the secret life of the american teenager online since 90210 gets in the way, then top model at night. JESUSSS

sleep

btw this is the amazing song we're singing in chorale. Sleep by Eric Whitacre x3 i dont think the images go good with it but we. this song calms me somehow. the next video is of Lux Aurumque. chorale also did this last year but i wasnt in it at the time. idk wtf is up with the video but its so beautifulllllll. im a chorus geek, and proud of it :D

fackkk

this missing miami thing is really getting to me. well today was good at school. i keep myself pretty busy. re-joined key club again so i can get my community service hours and a scholarship. people swear im rich because of my house and cars. but um hello obviously thats the reason why we have no $$$ lol. people are so quick to judge "/ then my mom pissed me off because i havent gone driving in a month. and in miami i went everyday so of course i was good. all she does is yell at me and im like 'helloooo your the one who never takes me so dont get mad if im not good.' then i asked her where to turn and she was on the phone and said not here. then yells when i dont turn. im like WTF WOMAN. then when we got out the car and were walking to target shes like im sorry for yelling and was trying to hug me. and i just pushed her like 'no, dad never yelled at me when we were driving and thats all you ever do.' i can tell she got mad or hurt. but whatever its the truth. she doesnt know how to talk to people. thats why 99.9% of the time i hate living here. like how does she expect me to be a better driver if she never takes me. i dont get it. well yeah i hope you enjoyed my tiny bit of rage. be back laterrr. 'i was your prince than became her king, and now you think the wrong queens sittin' besides me.'

-desiree <3

so much

that i wanna write but cant. either its for personal sake or just time. today i woke up and cleaned my room. it felt good to clean for once. then just before i was gonna shoot myself because i was depressed gretchen came to the rescue to save me. we picked up cindy and headed to the mall to meet up with trina pina (: all of us reunited sincee a long time (since that picture was taken). we walked around that damn mall idk how many times and there wasn't shit. i bought this black blouse and a purse which i really needed. then we went to arbys and no lie we were in that bitch for over an hour. cuz after we ate we just started talking about random shit and nike drama , haha. now im back home. when all i really wanna do is be in miami. since yesterday i've been in one of those 'i hate living here i wanna go back to miami' mood. yeahh "/ currently listening too my nigga taio cruz. but i wanna throw my ipod against the wall. each song has a memory to me and right now living in the past is one of the worst things i can be doing. i still need a damn job. grrrrr. once again i miss miami :( bye byeeee.

-desiree <3